This week...it's heavy...

There’s a movie quote I say from Back to the Future, where Marty McFly any time he encounters something weird or wild or different he exclaims “That’s Heavy”. And it’s usually met with Dr. Brown exclaiming “Great Scott”.

This week is not a laughing matter. It’s not anything but heavy. Heavy in the spirit, heavy in the physical, heavy everywhere. The week started as we watched a young woman get murdered brutally, where no one stepped up and helped her, no one defended her, no one protected her.

And then we saw an assassination of a Christian, someone who was bold in his faith, spoke truth and encouraged common decency and rhetoric while leading to Christ in every conversation.

I know that some people will be asking “what about the school shooting? Why aren’t you talking about that” and my answer is because I didn’t see it. I knew about it and yes my heart breaks that yet again children are the losing piece in a fight they didn’t sign up for. But, and this is my point, I didn’t see it happen.

I wasn’t looking for either of the murder of Iryna Zarutska or the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I was just scrolling on my FYP for fun, and then there they were, between fun puppy videos and baking videos. Multiple shots, multiple videos as though this is a touchdown for football and we have to get all the nuances. Tragic and horrible deaths for click bait. Trying to get views, and honestly it’s no worse then what the Romans would do as they threw Christians into the pits to fight to the death.

Public Entertainment - someone’s life on the line for someone else to become “famous” all while losing our humanity and empathy piece by piece.

Our souls were not meant to handle all of the tragedy all at once, nor were we meant to view it over and over again.

Charlie Kirk was someone who found others where they were and discussed why they held the beliefs they did. But more than that, he was a Christian. Even though he was known for political stances - he was a Christian first and foremost.

As Christians we are told that there are times when we might have to stand up for the Gospel. Where we might have to realize that the only way we are going to survive this day is by dying for the truth and yet I wonder how many of us truly believe that. Sure we are taught about the martyrs and the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church, we are taught that Stephen was the first martyr, we learn church history and learn about the trials and tribulations that come with being a Christian, but this was a life lesson to us all, where just because we are American’s doesn’t mean that people won’t shoot us down for what we believe and stand in. In fact, as Charlie’s death proved, it is more then possible for us to be shot at for our faith.

I grieve for a man I never knew, for a family that is not going to have their husband and dad and son for the next 20 years. I grieve because he was young, younger than me, and yet look at his legacy. Look at what he stood for and decided for and ran for.

We no longer have the option of staying silent about our faith, we no longer have the option of just “being a nice person” - no my dear fellow Christians, the line in the sand has been drawn, and now we must choose our side. We cannot declare that we are for God and we are Christians if we are not also willing to lay down our lives daily and pick up the cross He has appointed us. We cannot live in a shadow of truth and hope that someone will see a difference in our lives, because that freedom is no longer an option for us.

All around the world there are people who are killing, torturing and imprisoning Christians just for their faith. And we get weepy because someone on the internet decided we were wrong and is trying to ban us. Where is our faith? Where is our strength? Where is our belief?

When we heard the news that Charlie was shot and prayers for him began to shoot heavenward, there were many who didn’t think prayer would work. And when he was announced dead, there were more saying things like “prayers don’t work, prayer is not what is needed now” but the truth is Prayer always works. Prayer is always answered, it may not be an answer we like but it is an answer.

For Charlie, death was a comma to this life. He stepped from life to more life and while we mourn, we know that he is with Jesus.

There are only 2 options after life, hell which is separation from God, from everything good and righteous and every lasting torment, and heaven which is eternal communion with God and everything good and righteous. There are no other options. There are no other choices.

And how you live your life in this moment and in this day, what you value and who your allegiance is for, that is a choice that is echoed in eternity. You cannot say that you will die for Christ when you don’t live for Him here. What you do now matters and echoes into eternity.

I know that Charlie’s death, while the enemy planned it for evil, will turn out to be for God’s glory. I know that the time where we are living in the shadow of fear for the promise of a play peace is over. We no longer have the option to be middle of the road, we are called to either join God fully or not.

And now, what do we do? What do we do with our mourning hearts and heavy souls? We do the next thing. What is in front of us right now, that is what we are supposed to do, what we need to do, what we have to do.

We do the next thing and we worship.

We do the next thing and we pray.

We do the next thing and we talk about God to everyone we meet, because if anything has proven that this life is short and a fleeting vapour, it is this week.

We are not guaranteed a tomorrow, or even a next 5 minutes.

The early Christians had a motto that they lived by, it was quite simple, but it was this: Live as though you are going to die tonight. Because for them, and now for us, it was and is a very real possibility.

This week has been heavy.

I didn’t want to write this, in fact, I still keep deleting and reworking paragraphs because what if someone takes offense by what I’m saying or think that I’m saying something I’m not, but yet, I know I’m supposed to write this. It may not flow as well as I want, and there might be quite a bit that people disagree with. But I’m not doing this for your approval. I’m doing it because I’m supposed to. And that really makes all the difference.

I don’t know what my next step is past this post. I know I’m going to be taking the weekend off of social media to really allow my soul to process everything, and I might be back on there, I might not. I don’t really know. And right now, I’m ok with not being back on there anytime soon. But who knows? All I know is my next thing is to post this, then to do some courses for my job and through it all seek God’s face. That is all I can do right now.

All I know is this verse has been swirling around my head and heart the past few days.

-Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labour is not in vain. (1 Cor. 15:58)

ex libris.

~Stephanie